Posted by: Linda Hoye | October 4, 2010

Knowing Better

I have been following with interest, current research about adoption, and  the move toward providing access for adoptees to obtain their original birth certificates (OBC). I’ve written in this forum my opinion about the fact that, for most adoptees who were adopted under the closed system, obtaining their OBC is out of reach at this time and possibly for all time.

And I realized something as I lay awake thinking about that. It’s okay; we’re okay.

Whether we have or OBC or not we are still the person we were meant to be; our unique mosaic of experience and heritage is something to be celebrated!

Maya Angelou said “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” I believe that is what is happening in the adoption realm as well. We, as a society, have realized the impact of withholding information from adoptees and now we know better. We will do better.

In the meantime let us adoptees rejoice in the life we have been given and celebrate the people have become!

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Responses

  1. I continue to hope that information becomes more accessible too, Linda. I think of my M-I-L who will never be at peace about her life because she can’t resolve adoption issues. She has half answers and innuendos and so many questions. It causes her great pain and has impacted so many areas of her life, and most especially her self-esteem. I wish I knew what to do to help her.

    • I believe that self-esteem is an issue for many adoptees, Susan. Your M-I-L is fortunate to have such a caring D-I-L who empathizes with her.

  2. Since I was only informed of my adoptive status as an adult, the biological background is really only of interest to me from a medical point of view. I never know what to answer when I am asked about family history. I feel rediculous not knowing the answers to some very basic questions. It would be nice to know if I am at risk for breast cancer or heart disease. I just draw a line and say adopted.
    So many of the things I thought to be true were blasted apart when I was finally told. But on the other hand it was liberating as well. All the old suppositions and sterotypes fell away. I was finally free to be me.
    I considered briefly attempting a search but when I heard the records were sealed the door was closed. I have concentrated instead on embracing and reparenting myself. I finally feel free.

    • Debi, I love how you said you are “embracing and reparenting myself”. Ultimately we have to take responsibility for our own emotional well being and it sounds like you are doing just that.

  3. Hi
    I’ve just stumbled onto your blog.
    As an adoptee I will be back to read your blog.

    Love Leanne NZ

    • Welcome, Leanne. I will pop over and check out your blog as well.


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